There’s a plant hanging from our front porch- a plant, if you can call it that. To anyone else, it looks more like death, decay, forgetfulness, neglect. But while we may not be the most green-thumb-worthy folks in town, this is not actually a case of more foliage-ignoring. It’s a case of life.
What you can’t see when you see all the brown dryness, is the nest snuggled inside, the mama who guards it, the new life hatching.
Every time … continue reading
I was so honored to share a devotional this morning at my church at Freedom Church Baltimore. I wanted to share it here as well, as it speaks to hope in the hurting places of our life. The video can be found here, where I begin at around minute 21; and below is the transcript:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Good morning Freedom Church!
When Pastor Jeremy so graciously asked if I would consider doing a devotional today, he asked me to … continue reading
There’s moments unique to fostering and adopting- comparable to the moments of a positive pregnancy test appearing before one’s eyes, or an ultrasound image coming into focus. Those unforgettable moments when a life is unfolding and coming to you. One of those moments in fostering and adopting is the moment you get the call. You remember the details around it, the words of it, the feelings in it.
I remember exactly where I was standing in the kitchen when the … continue reading
Oh sweet girl, how I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again and a million times more if I need to: You were never, ever plan B.
How often does the world of adoption and foster care get assumed on the infertile and barren? As if God said, the child-losing should take care of the parent-losing. But no, He said His children should care for the orphans, and there’s more than enough of us for them and yet they … continue reading
I knew it would be a hard winter. It didn’t disappoint. The depression weighed heavy, the cold numbed, the bitter dry season felt never-ending.
I knew it would be hard. But I didn’t expect the first tastes of spring to be so hard too.
March started and hope got in line, and I thought, oh good, now it will get better, now the gloom breaks, now the load lifts. And maybe it’s because I expected it, maybe it’s because … continue reading
After going through a miscarriage at the end of January, it was strange just a couple weeks later to be facing Lent.
I had practiced Lent for several years before that, to help prepare my heart and sharpen my focus for the Easter season, but that year, it begged a new question- how does one do Lent in loss?
Lent is often practiced by giving up something, but it can also be the practice of the addition of something. Frequently, … continue reading
There’s just something about loss anniversaries that’s inexplicably hard. And it’s grief, yes, but it’s something more than that, something about being in the same spot of the cosmos that you were when things happened. There’s a heavy darkness that comes, that you know isn’t just the sadness in your heart but it’s the wound in your spirit being pressed.
A couple Sundays ago, it was the anniversary of when we took the first pregnancy test that would end … continue reading
The numbers roll over, 2020, 2021, and I hear the comments, see the hope.
This is the year, this will be the year, to fulfill all the shattered dreams of 2020 and live our best lives, and restoration is at hand! So long, 2020, couldn’t get rid of you soon enough.
And I hear the comments, see the hope, but my heart skips a beat, my stomach knots, and my mind whispers: Be careful what you wish for.
I remember … continue reading