Covid definitely slowed things down. We saw it throughout the year, as courthouses and social workers figured out how to do things in the midst of global pandemic limitations. But, thankfully, the paperwork the court needed to go forward on our foster daughter’s case was filed right in time. If it had been a few weeks later, the case would have been frozen in time. But ours got in, and so we were able to make- albeit slow- progress.
Right … continue reading
“The bio mom passed away.”
My stomach sank, heart broke, and devastation hung in the air when I heard those words. My tears fell, the tragedy of this woman’s life so bleak, the ending so unhappy. I was so sad for her, so sad that all the attempts at bettering never reached fulfillment. So sad at addiction’s grasp on too many. And so sad for my foster daughter to lose her bio mom this way.
And then the conversation … continue reading
There are no words to explain the anguish we felt when given that 30 day notice. My almost-always calm and passive husband was angry and firm on the phone with the social worker- trying to get him to see the absurdity of it, the insanity of the judge. How could this couple who hadn’t followed the plan get her back in thirty days? We knew reunification was the goal- but that goal had to be met a certain way, … continue reading
I was so honored to share a devotional this morning at my church at Freedom Church Baltimore. I wanted to share it here as well, as it speaks to hope in the hurting places of our life. The video can be found here, where I begin at around minute 21; and below is the transcript:
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Good morning Freedom Church!
When Pastor Jeremy so graciously asked if I would consider doing a devotional today, he asked me to … continue reading
The roller coaster had already begun, but the speed and ups and downs went into full motion over the next several months.
Our first month was bliss and adjustments. It was a lot to figure out, but a lot of beautiful too. We felt the roller coaster ride go up when her first court sessions confirmed her to foster care and in our placement. We had a month of enjoying the time together, but then the first drop down … continue reading
There’s moments unique to fostering and adopting- comparable to the moments of a positive pregnancy test appearing before one’s eyes, or an ultrasound image coming into focus. Those unforgettable moments when a life is unfolding and coming to you. One of those moments in fostering and adopting is the moment you get the call. You remember the details around it, the words of it, the feelings in it.
I remember exactly where I was standing in the kitchen when the … continue reading
Oh sweet girl, how I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again and a million times more if I need to: You were never, ever plan B.
How often does the world of adoption and foster care get assumed on the infertile and barren? As if God said, the child-losing should take care of the parent-losing. But no, He said His children should care for the orphans, and there’s more than enough of us for them and yet they … continue reading
“Hey, mama… do you have that picture…?” I wouldn’t even have to explain it anymore to my mom, she knows what I mean, she knows “that picture.” The picture of the first time I held my daughter, the first day I met her, the day that we began.
She knows, sends it back to me, back to my phone that had lost it when it lost everything. I have it ready, ready to post on Facebook in a couple hours … continue reading
I knew it would be a hard winter. It didn’t disappoint. The depression weighed heavy, the cold numbed, the bitter dry season felt never-ending.
I knew it would be hard. But I didn’t expect the first tastes of spring to be so hard too.
March started and hope got in line, and I thought, oh good, now it will get better, now the gloom breaks, now the load lifts. And maybe it’s because I expected it, maybe it’s because … continue reading
After going through a miscarriage at the end of January, it was strange just a couple weeks later to be facing Lent.
I had practiced Lent for several years before that, to help prepare my heart and sharpen my focus for the Easter season, but that year, it begged a new question- how does one do Lent in loss?
Lent is often practiced by giving up something, but it can also be the practice of the addition of something. Frequently, … continue reading